Duplicitous

I have not tried hard to hide the fact I am a Christian, but on the other hand I have not tried hard to show it either. Lately I have been finding my self thinking mostly about money and all the stuff I could buy with money. I've been thinking about the salary I'll need when I graduate to pay off my school loans in under 10 years. I've thought about the car's, the house, and all the toys I would be able to afford. I have not spent any time reading the Word of God, and hardly any time praying. I use the excuse that I am busy with school and that I am so tired. I know I should go to church, but again I explain it away with the "tired" excuse and I keep telling myself I need to rest. God certainly does work in way's we wouldn't think He would. For example, today in one of my classes we were having a lecture on communicating with patients and how to motivate them. Then the instructor told us something that I had forgotten. He told us that he had sold his practice and moved into community dentistry because he felt good when he went home and knew he had made a difference in someones life, especially someone who could not afford to see a private dentist. That got me thinking again about why I am here in dental school. Is it just to make lots of money and get cool toys? I am sad to say that in fact has been my motivation and focus for the past few months, if not longer. I remember back to my undergraduate studies, when God told me to become a dentist. I know there is a great temptation to forget about the helpless and hopeless in this world, I myself have fallen into that temptation. But thanks be to God who used this one instructor today to remind me of my purpose: to help those less fortunate than myself.

I have also found it easy to fall into the temptation to put my relationship with God on the "back burner" and use the excuse that I need to spend all my time on school if I'm to do well. But again thanks be to God who never leaves me nor forsakes me (Hebrews 13:5) and He is faithful to bring me back to Himself. He used this movie I just watched today called "Unidentified". Now this movie is not great. It's one of those horrible acting, low budget "christian" films, but it did remind me that no matter how busy I am in life I must take the time and make the time to read the Bible and pray. If I don't do those things I am really no different than the unbeliever.

I guess I just want to say that I don't want to chase after the money dentist's can make, nor the "toys". I want to remember the poor, the helpless, the children and the distressed (James 1:27). It feels so good to be thinking this way. I don't know how many have heard this but the only way to gain joy is to follow that word as an acronym: J.O.Y. to have joy you must put Jesus first then Others and lastly Yourself. How true this is, and what a Godly principle. Now don't get me wrong, I am still totally aware of the massive debt I am in and how I need to make enough to pay that off; but I know now that making the money as THE goal is the wrong way to look at it all.

Thanks for letting me share. Hopefully this helped you some.